I stepped on the scale today and was pleasantly surprised! I have broke that plateau, I lost another 2 pounds for a total of 152 pounds lost! I now weight 384 pounds. I am now over the 150 pounds lost mark. Another weight loss milestone. Now 384 pounds on the scale would make most woman want to jump off their roof, but this is tremendous progress for me. I got married fall of 2001, I remember weighing 384 pounds on my wedding day, and feeling misrible. I don’t talk about my wedding day much because it was not a happy event for me. I had lost my best friend, my Mother that year, we were very close. I had a father and aunt with Alzheimer’s to care for, and the little bit of extended family I had left had cut me out of their lives. I got married simply because I was scared, and afraid of being alone. The man I married had as many if not more issues than I did, and we both made a bad decision that day. I was trying desperately to keep my beauty shop going, but my weight gain, and crazy life distracted me from it, and my business slowly faded. My husband, the next year starting having seizures, really bad ones that landed him in the ER more times than I can count. He had developed a heart condition, so his health took a tremendous amount of care and because he couldn’t hold a job and we had no insurance, by the time he passed away January 2008, I was penniless, and weighed over 500 pounds. Everything that mattered in my life was gone and any life I had left had been sucked right out of me. I closed the shop, and my redeeming grace was the classes I took at the local community collage. But it was tremendously hard to get around campus, well, nearly impossible. My funding for school stopped, and so did I. I spend the next 7-8 years in my bed.
It’s a surreal feeling when you check out on life for a number of years. My friends, and the world goes on without you. My friends who had school age children are now planning graduations, weddings and grandchildren. People I have not seen in several years look older. Many of my parents friends have died, my house looks worn out, and needs repair and paint. Technology had changed everything, from how we spend money, to social norms. These were the hardest adjustments I have experienced.
But I got a 2nd chance. I have come a long way since April 1 of 2015. It’s amazing the progress we can make in such a short time. I get frustrated because I want to get back into life faster, but when I look where I came from, it takes my breath away.
The God that I serve is a God of second chances. We all have the opportunity to have a second chance. But first I had to stop being a victim, no matter how bad the cards were that life handed me. Even though I had a reason for my struggles, just laying there wallowing in it gets you nowhere. Even when the road seems long and you can’t possibly see any chance, just try. You will be surprised how things you never imagined work out better than you ever dreamed. How does a woman in her later 50s, broke, morbidly obese, and without family, turn her life around? She trust God and started to believe in herself.
So here I am, on the road, I never thought I’d ever walk again, literally. Getting stronger every day. If I stay on track I could have 200 pounds off by the first of the year. Never under estimate God’s grace and your own abilities. We are more than we think we are. I have lost a lot in this battle to good health. I lost friends, money, my business, dignity, and sometimes I thought I lost my mind. But God has a way of filling in all the losses with something new.