Monday is my 59th Birthday. I use to love having a birthday. I loved seeing all my friends and it made me feel loved. My Mom made big deal out of the birthday of the people she loved. My beauty shop was a day long party on September 12th. When she died, my birthdays were never the same. I have never been loved like that since she died. There is nothing that can replace the love of a Mother.
I have been a little sad all week, and questioning myself a little. I don’t have the luxury of time to get this right. My goals is to be under 237 by next year this time. That is not my ultimate goal, but it will mean I have lost the majority of it. That would give me a 300 pound loss by my 60th birthday. It will take a lot of tenacity. But I believe I can do this. Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up 140 pounds thinner. But like my friend Gerri says, if we don’t invest in it, we don’t value it near as much. I am investing!
All of this isolation is really getting to me. I am trying to apply for a discount membership to the Y up the street from my house, but they want all but my first born child. I have got to get out every day and a daily walk on that treadmill and being out with people, is just what I need. I can not afford the full price, even with the senior discount. Now they want a document from the IRS! They don’t make it easy, but, again, like my friend Gerri says, if we don’t have an investment in it, we don’t value something as much. If it’s handed over to us, there is not the same gratitude. So today I am going to poke around the IRS website and see if I can get this document. I need to quit whining.
My friend Diana is going to take me out to lunch on my Birthday. I am really looking forward to it. She said it’s my choice where we go, but honestly, I’d be thrilled with a 300 calorie Subway Sandwich. For the first time in my life the food makes no difference to me. I am just looking forward to getting out with my dear friend. I love her so much, never once has she ever judged me. It’s the friendship I embrace way more than the food.
this blog will be a year old on September 18th. That was the day I quit trying to do this alone, and made the choice to quit being a victim. I started being accountable on this blog, to all of you. Listen, if you want to lose weight, or change anything significant in your life, you do not need to do it alone. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to do it alone. Being overweight is an isolating disease. And the bigger we get, the more isolated we become, first by choice. But as it progresses, we no longer have a choice, we simply lose our dignity then mobility. I existed day by day, looking forward to my next meal and living on the internet all day. I wasted almost a decade of my life in isolation. Never planning to watch the days turn into years. If you are telling yourself your life will never get as bad as mine was, you are only fooling yourself. I use to say that about some of the sad stories I would hear about others who never left their homes and then never left their beds. Then it happened.
So maybe today is your day. Maybe you will start today, right now, making changes in your life. So get rid of all those excuses, even the ones that have validation, reach out for help from someone who has what you want. Start living instead of just existing. Then, please write me and tell me about your dreams and progress. I believe in you! It’s never too late.
Be blessed everyone!