I am down another 3 pounds, for a loss of 161 pounds. I was starting to lose faith in myself. But I believe I broke through to another level of acceptance about the food I eat. I can see a big change in what I am eating and feeling about some of the foods I have eliminated from my diet. It’s sort of a relief.
I have not been writing as faithful as I would like because I feel if I don’t have good news I sound like I am whining or rationalizing my food plan. And you know, sometimes I am. I am very good at honestly believing my excuses. Some of them are valid, but still excuses. There is a very fine line between complete blatant lying and extreme self care and coddling to the point of not owning responsibility for the scale not moving. I know this about myself, if I give myself too much mercy, I will start wallowing in it. That is how I gained so much weight in the first place and ended up at 537 pounds laying in my bed all day for years. It happens so slowly and gradualy you do not realize it until you feel you are past the point of no return.
Sometimes I think its easy to rationalize being sloppy with portions and what food I eat because I never ever eat cookies, brownies, ice cream, Pizza or fast food. I can get rather smug about it. This is the most dangerous denial I can be in, because I can talk myself into being a victim and not own my part.
I am making bath bombs to sell to friends. I am a bit short of the money I need to get my property taxes paid by March 1. So I am trying to earn it. So if you want some beautiful smelling bath bombs to put in or tub, or give someone for Valentines Day, let me know. I will be posting pictures and prices soon. So far the ones I have made are pretty cool and really fizz up. They smell wonderful, Orange Dreamsicle, vanilla, Musk, Lavender, and a fresh Cotton Scent. I am going to make some Bubble Bars too. They are solid bars you can crumble up and put in your bath water for bubbles. I’ll be back in a few days with pictures!