A brilliant friend and fellow blogger of mine wrote a few days ago “Keep living until you feel alive again!”. Her name is Liz, and if you are not reading her blog THE ALLEY WAY You should be! This “Lizism” rang true to me today.
I did not feel like doing living that will make me feel alive again. It was cold, raining, and I woke wishing I could just sleep the day away. I didn’t seem to have a purpose, and none seemed to care, so why should I? I planned on attending church, but didn’t want to drive there alone, to sit alone, in a crowd of people who either didn’t know who I was or cared. Sometimes going to church makes me feel more alone. I know that’s not the whole purpose, it’s about corporately praising God with fellow believers.
The last thing I wanted to do was call a friend and hear them try to cheer me up, suggest solutions to my mood, or fix me. Sometimes I just want to be heard and listened to. But human contact is what I needed most. I made a few text messages, and cooked a health breakfast. Then got dressed and put my shoes on. Even though I just wanted to wallow in self pity in my bed, I went to the local Hy Vee grocery store and had a cup of coffee in the coffee shop. It helped to see people, and got me outside of my own head.
When I got home, I made lunch. by that time I had kicked my shoes off, pulled off my bra, and was hanging out in the kitchen in my undies and a sweatshirt. Then, I heard my storm door open! Yikes! I ran to the bedroom, put on pants, and opened the front door, slowly. To my surprise it was a big huge GIANT bag of frozen chicken breasts from Sam’s. My friend Edie had been to Sam’s and dropped them off. I missed her call because I left my phone in the bedroom. Until I can start working again, and that is hopefully soon, I am on a budget. Those Chicken Breast are like gold to me. Protein is a pricy item for any dieter. ( I was making a bean tostada for lunch BTW, a good budget item) I want to thank God for my friend Edie. She blessed me today in a way I did not expect. She helped me with my food budget, but the greatest part was the act of love and support. A kiss from God on a day I needed it the most. Edie was the answer to my pray today and she didn’t even know it! I felt loved.