I didn’t sleep too well last night. In fact it was daylight before I fell asleep. I think this weight loss is waking up my hormones and serotonin levels. It only makes sense. As I lose weight, those chemicals my brain makes become more concentrated.
I had one of those white knuckle, willpower, cry out to God nights. I wanted to eat, anything, and the food in my kitchen was screaming my name. I bargained with God, telling him I would be more faithful and loving if he would get me through this.Of course we all know bargaining with God never works.
I had my tv on, and every commercial was cheeseburgers, pizza and everything I love to eat. That block of cheese in my fridge kept screaming at me. I got up, drank water, surfed the web, got on Facebook, where there seemed to be an excess amount of recipes posted. Or at least I thought so.
I dug in deep, I knew it was not belly hunger. I was bored, I was lonely, I could not sleep and food was the comfort I needed to pass the time.The night seemed so long.Then I remembered that horrible feeling the next morning when I’d awake and realize I gave into my demons. And I also remembered the strength and great self-esteem I felt when I did not cave.
God came through as usual. But only until I gave it my all. He didn’t carry me, he walked me through it. If he had preformed a supernatural miracle I would not have learned what he was teaching me. This made me stronger to conquer the next challenge with a little more ease. In the middle of answering my prayer, he was preparing me for the next battle As well. I love how God does his best work in us, in ordinary ways.