Surrender

 

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Most of us, before getting on a good food plan, tell ourselves and maybe those around us, “I need to start eating better”. We spend days, weeks, and months, talking about what we need or should do. We almost become prisoner to all the “should”. I have a friend who feels so strongly about this she has eliminated the word “should” from her vocabulary. A pretty smart thing to do if you ask me. The word just brings on guilt, dread, and procrastination.

What comes to mind when you see the word surrender? Is it It defeat, giving up, giving in or waving the white flag? That’s what most of us think. But to me these days surrender means a new beginning to a life of suscess. When I surrendered to all the “shoulds” in my life, my world started to change. I became pro-active and accountable, when that decision was made, the word, should, almost vanished from my vocabulary as well. I decided to put action to my “shoulds” or just let go of them.

The days of rationalizing and excuse making have diminished. I look back and see how I use to eat and actually convince myself I was not eating near as bad as what the scale told me. In fact, I avoided weighting myself at all cost so I did not have to face reality. I remember eating big helping of goulash (ground beef, tomatoes, and macaroni) and convincing myself it was a normal portion. I rarely had any leftovers. I cooked big and ate big. Almost all of my social life involved food. Much of my on line world was looking up recipes, and most of the email I got was from recipe sites. I spent my days thinking of what I was going to make for supper. It was the biggest event in my day. My focus has really shifted these days. I have notices a huge cut in my grocery bills. I’m learning to buy less and smaller packages of things. My whole paradigm has shifted. It was a lot of work to maintain that kind of behavior and still convince myself I was not eating all that much, retaining fluid, blaming that piece of ham I had eaten the day before.

You can’t imagine the peace that comes when were surrender, and quit fighting. Yes it is work to get on a food plan and stay diligent and focused everyday. A good day for me requires being mindful and accountable of what I eat and do. I have devotions daily, and make time to read, write and journal. But it is not nearly as hard as carrying around that burden of guild from all the self abuse. The best part, is I am getting my self respect and dignity back. I can see people who lost their respect for me starting to respect me again instead of feeling sorry for me.

So if you are procrastinating getting going and taking care of yourself, I encourage you to just start. You will be surprised what a relief it is. And how that one step forward spirals into one positive success after another. I promise if you honestly try, you will be amazed how what you need at that very moment will appear, sometimes what seems from nowhere.  Just surrendering frees you up to spend your time and energy on positive things you could never imagine happening to your life.

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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog. I am a Baby Boomer from Nebraska blogging my way to good health. I am single, with no children, I have a little white maltese dog named Lily. Follow my journey to lose 1 pound 300 times.

2 thoughts on “Surrender

  1. That release–that surrender and all the acceptance and embracing it involves, is an amazing thing. How can something be so scary, liberating and peaceful all at the same time? I think it’s change, even when the change is good change with long term benefits…it’s still change, and changes can be scary. It’s like we have to trust the change long enough to appreciate the liberation and peace the changes provide… Doesn’t make it easier sometimes… but it certainly gives us incredible hope and then we start imagining, dreaming. Great post, Kathleen. Loved this. OMGoodness…me too on the goulash thing… I can remember big pots of it… and I would get a heaping starting portion…then go back again…I have no idea how many calories I consumed on those days. I loved meals like that because of their potential for excess, as opposed to meals where there’s a certain amount portioned for each. Today is much better. I like peace and freedom.

    • Kathleen

      Are you sure we are not twins separated at birth? I feel privileged to have a friend like you walk with me through this big journey. Thanks so much for always being supportive!

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