Patience

 

Unknown

 

My patience have been tested lately. It’s mid January here in Nebraska, I have lost enough weight now that I am starting to feel better, but not quite enough to put me back in to the mainstream of life. But I am very close. It is going to be below zero all weekend, and a windchill minus 32 is predicted for the night time. That is cold! So I am completely house bound for a while.

So, all that to say, I am getting very restless, and my patience are wearing thin. My days get very long, and it seems the weekends are even slower. I’m not really complaining, I signed up to do the time. Doing something the right way is seldom the easy way. But I know this is the right road to health for me. I am very grateful that my obesity did not deteriorate my health to the point that I could not have the luxury of lose it this way, or caused me to land in the hospital. I say that with great humility, because that was the next stage for me. I am not above that experience, I am grateful for God’s grace. Few people live to my age being as obese as I was at one time. I am here and alive for a reason.

My wellness has more to do with my head than my body. There are many vehicles in the car lot of diets, that will help you lose weight. Many that works very well. Everyone finds their own path. But for me, all this time alone to think has been the best gift ever. But not the easiest, by a long shot. I wake in the mornings with no purpose or anything to look forward to, except my meals. Which I monitor very closely. I spend a lot of time reading motivation and spiritual books and devotionals. And a lot of Netflix!

Being physically alone in this journey to health has kept me from comparing myself to others, and having to deal with someone eating foods that I struggle to abstain from around me. That would be so hard.

Sometimes when we do a task alone, we reach higher, because we do not see the limits, like we might if we had a companion. I think I was a better hairdresser because I worked alone. No one was around to be an example of any limits. I know I was more apt to try new things.

But along with this comes a solitude life that has helped me grow closer in my faith, and my relationship with God. I don’t use this blog as a means to preach. I feel very strongly that my light should shine on it’s own, in my day to day life. But It is also a huge component to my recovery, so I have to share it, if I am to be truly honest.

I look forward to spring, when all things become new. I will be new, and there are so many experiences I will have that I have not enjoyed in a lot of years. That time is just around the corner. There is a satisfaction and confidence that comes from working hard and doing the time. It feels earned, and anything we work hard for we take better care of.

So in this dark coldness of winter, I am feeling hope.snow-flowers-crocus-purple-hd-wallpaper-34729 A sense of self respect and hope that I have not felt in a long time. I dream of spring and all life has to bring.

by

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog. I am a Baby Boomer from Nebraska blogging my way to good health. I am single, with no children, I have a little white maltese dog named Lily. Follow my journey to lose 1 pound 300 times.

8 thoughts on “Patience

  1. Wanda Larrington Becker

    I have to admit that being around my husband when he’s eating cookies and cinnamon rolls all the time has made it more difficult, BUT I am at 50 pounds now since June! I’m moving on to the 75# mark! I’m going to do it this time!

  2. Rose

    You are doing so well, Kathleen. I understand being alone during your path to healthiness. I have a husband who married me fat. He loves me fat. He supported me in the beginning but enjoyed when I had a “cheat” day or a down day a little to much. He cooked for me in the beginning, too. I do not like to cook so this was a huge help. However, the gravies started to come back in. The sauces, the butter. UGH. I just feel ….oh I don’t know.. defeated? I guess.
    I always said that if I was alone I could do this so much better. I could grab on and rejoice in my successes! But alas.. it has been difficult to say the least. Of course I can’t blame him. I am the idiot that puts the food in my mouth. I am the one..
    I have been so much better lately. Thank God. I’ve put in way to much work to be defeated by myself or what others want me to be.

    I’m so happy you have found peace and comfort in knowing who you are. Spring is right at your fingertips!! :))

    Take care,
    Rosie

    • Kathleen

      Thanks Rose, I guess there are good and bad in any situation. You are not defeated until you decide to be. I know you can find a way to do it regardless of your Husbands lack of support. Hang in there Rose!

  3. Joyce

    Hang in there. You are doing great! With spring will come a new lease on life. I’m on the same journey as you. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. 🙂

  4. Alison C.

    “Sometimes when we do a task alone, we reach higher, because we do not see the limits…”
    Wow!! This is an amazing insight! Thank you for sharing this inspiration with us.
    Warmer weather will be here before we know it. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *