My patience have been tested lately. It’s mid January here in Nebraska, I have lost enough weight now that I am starting to feel better, but not quite enough to put me back in to the mainstream of life. But I am very close. It is going to be below zero all weekend, and a windchill minus 32 is predicted for the night time. That is cold! So I am completely house bound for a while.
So, all that to say, I am getting very restless, and my patience are wearing thin. My days get very long, and it seems the weekends are even slower. I’m not really complaining, I signed up to do the time. Doing something the right way is seldom the easy way. But I know this is the right road to health for me. I am very grateful that my obesity did not deteriorate my health to the point that I could not have the luxury of lose it this way, or caused me to land in the hospital. I say that with great humility, because that was the next stage for me. I am not above that experience, I am grateful for God’s grace. Few people live to my age being as obese as I was at one time. I am here and alive for a reason.
My wellness has more to do with my head than my body. There are many vehicles in the car lot of diets, that will help you lose weight. Many that works very well. Everyone finds their own path. But for me, all this time alone to think has been the best gift ever. But not the easiest, by a long shot. I wake in the mornings with no purpose or anything to look forward to, except my meals. Which I monitor very closely. I spend a lot of time reading motivation and spiritual books and devotionals. And a lot of Netflix!
Being physically alone in this journey to health has kept me from comparing myself to others, and having to deal with someone eating foods that I struggle to abstain from around me. That would be so hard.
Sometimes when we do a task alone, we reach higher, because we do not see the limits, like we might if we had a companion. I think I was a better hairdresser because I worked alone. No one was around to be an example of any limits. I know I was more apt to try new things.
But along with this comes a solitude life that has helped me grow closer in my faith, and my relationship with God. I don’t use this blog as a means to preach. I feel very strongly that my light should shine on it’s own, in my day to day life. But It is also a huge component to my recovery, so I have to share it, if I am to be truly honest.
I look forward to spring, when all things become new. I will be new, and there are so many experiences I will have that I have not enjoyed in a lot of years. That time is just around the corner. There is a satisfaction and confidence that comes from working hard and doing the time. It feels earned, and anything we work hard for we take better care of.