I read a book that was one of the catalyst for the change I needed to turn my life around. It is called QBQ, The question before the question. It’s purpose was to motivate corporate executives and leaders to motivate their employees to take personal responsibility. It was recommended by my friend Lori Olson, who’s husband is a successful motivational speaker and teacher. Rick speaks mostly to large corporations. Rick is one of those calm approachable people, with a warm personality and great wisdom. Because of that character, you want to hear what he has to say. You know he knows what he is talking about. His wife Lori is the same. I am blessed to have these great people in my life.
The book is all about taking responsibility for your life and actions. It teaches you to quit being a victim, and even when the task ahead seems impossible, you still own it and try, regardless of why or how you got in the spot you are in.
Up until I read that book, I was spending most of my days feeling stuck, and listing the many obstacles that were in my way keeping me from having success. I did a lot of whining, and altho some of the situations in my life were not created by me, I quit focusing on the source, and started focusing on how I could resolve these things. I laid aside my resentments, and took whatever resources I had, and made baby steps towards claiming back my life. Never expecting to be rescued or taken care of. I quit waiting for those who in my mind had transgressions against me, to fix, apologize, or repent. What they did or did not do, was none of my business.
There is a saying among 12 step users that goes, “I keep my own side of the street clean”. So that’s what I started doing. I started with little things. One, was making sure I stayed under 1400 calories a day, no matter how my day was going. As my friend Sean Anderson says, this was a non-negotionable. Sean’s blog, The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser had a huge influence on my new approach to live. There was not going to be any reason, no matter how chaotic my life got, that would change that non-negotionable, in my day.
So I started adding to that list, I started a blog, I sought out people in my life, and on the internet who were successful at what I wanted to achieve. I surrounded myself with these people, I watches what was working for them. I remember my pastor Tom Jacob saying we become like the people we spend time with and the books we read. So I started reading more motivational and Christian books. My relationship with God became more intimate. I knew there were things that I could not achieve alone, but I did not let that stop me from trying. Every time I just blindly moved forward, and trusted, exactly what I needed showed up at the precise moment I was in need.
I started meeting people who I always wanted to know, bloggers that were having successful weight loss, were made available to me. Leaders and experts in weight loss just supernaturally crossed my path. I did nothing special, except staying true to my calorie budget, and walked through every door that came my way, never questioning how I was going to do it, afford it, or even know how.
The biggest thing I did was quit being a victim and take personal responsibility. I let God take care of any revenge I might want to cast, I did not freeload. Every time I have a need, I think of a way I can earn my way out of debt. And no job was beneath me. I have been up all hours of the night sewing little baby shoes out of felt, to make $40, when my need was over $1000. And somehow, I earned and saved my way to pay the debt I had.
The lesson here is, stop being a victim, own your situation, and let God deal with the transgressors in your life. Stay on your own side of the street, and keep it clean. What that man across the street is doing, is none of your business. What he thinks of what your doing is none of your business. What he or his wife think of you is none of your business.
My business is to take care of Kathleen, never at the cost of someone else, and never expecting anything from anybody. No matter how needy I am, or how much abundance the guy across the street has, or is capable of, he owes you nothing.
I was over 500 pounds, I was broke, sometimes even getting my utilities, and phone shut off. But I started with what I had or could do, and here I am 10 months later, and 125 pounds lost. I have a promise of a job in the Spring when my mobility is better, I have so much to look forward to, and an army of support people around me.
This is not about my great ability, or willpower. I have no willpower. This is about taking personal responsibility, and letting God fill in the cracks and broken pieces.
I spent the whole month of December every evening in my bed listening to OA (Overeaters Anonymous) phone meetings. I knew the Holidays would be tough, so I sought out ways to strengthen my mission to health. I am in constant search of saturating myself with successful and progressive people.
One of the hard parts is when I recognize my old behaviors in others. I have not always handled it well. but I am learning, their way of handling life is none of my business. Unless specifically asked, I work hard at keeping my mouth shut. It’s hard, and I have not always been able to keep my criticisms to myself, but I am learning.
So my message today is, quit whining, figure it out, stop being resentful of everyone else, and take personal responsibility of whatever your struggles are. You will be so surprised at the ground you will gain in a short time. Blessings to all of you!