I read recently a post on Facebook regarding the price of groceries these days. And how expensive it is to eat heathy. There is no doubt that grocery prices are sky rocketing. A basket of beautiful berries at my grocery store can often be over $3 in season! A pound of grapes can often be over $6! It’s hard to spend that much at the grocery store on food.
I remember a time when my fast food addiction was well over $10 or even $20 a day. It’s not cheap to eat at McDonalds. Even the dollar menu is expensive. At 500 pus pounds, believe me one, $1 burger did not fill me up, I needed at least 2, with fries and a drink, and maybe ice cream as well. I would drive through Starbucks or anyplace for a large Latte, plus a scone or muffin and it costing $6 to $7 bucks. That’s not a whole breakfast, that’s just coffee and a muffin. These are the secrets I am not proud of. But I know many of you can identify.
So with that in mind, that $6 pound of fresh green grapes is a bargain. And since I am not eating as much these days, my food last much longer. I can get a good 4 portions out of one pound of grapes.
(I like to wash, pluck off stems, put in individual freezer bags and eat them as a frozen snack) A pound of lean ground beef at $5 a pound is 4 meals. I am actually eating better and much cheaper. It is not self indulgent to spend money on whole, healthy food.
I have also been thinking about when I started getting serious about losing weight, about this time last year. The thought of coming this far in less than a year seemed like an impossible task. I did not know how I was going to do it. I knew at over 500 pounds I had to just start eating less. Which meant, because I was not very mobile, I had to spend a whole year, white knuckling it. I spent the last year pretty much laying in bed and in front of the TV or on the internet, watching my calories very close. That was my full time job. You do not burn many calories laying around, thats how the pounds escalated to this point in the first place. Now I had to do it without my friend food, which was the only thing I had to look forward to in my day. I had to emotionally disconnect with my best friend, food. The biggest part of my day was what I was eating. Now I had to give that up. But I do not have the luxury of just quitting, like a drug addict, I had to figure a way to limit it. Thats like putting a 12 pack of beer in the fridge, and telling the drunk they could only have 1 beer a day. It seemed impossible.
But sometimes our dreams turn into reality, if we just take one step. The thing it takes before that first step is to be complete honestly with myself. Look at things about me I never looked at or owned. Character flaws I did not even know were there. I had to walk out of that shame and take a risk at humiliating myself, and possibly failing. And that I did. I still failed. But the difference is I kept getting up. But that’s still not enough. You have to own what knocked you down, and find a way to stop it from happening over again. instead of blaming my inability or some outside excuse, I examine why I stumbled, and I refine along the way. It’s important when we finally decide to take that journey, that we keep refining our commitment. A saw does not stay sharpened when used, it has to be sharpened. And the more we use it, the more sharpening it needs. Because few, if any, straight shoot this weight loss thing to the very end. Well, in fact, there is no end. Only continual process until the day we get to Glory. I know it sounds discouraging, but that’s why we have to enjoy the process. Do what is attainable for a lifetime.
This perspective has been a huge life lesson for me. I have found out things about myself that I did not notice, and now that I have, they seem so obvious. I also recognize it instantly when I see my old behavior and attitudes in others. I have to remind myself when I do see this, to be as gentle and kind to others like I would want to be to myself. At first I wanted to change everyone around me and point out my old flaws that I saw in them. That backfired, I came off as judgmental, and hurt some people I really love. I need to take this moment, to say I am so sorry to anyone who may be reading this that I did that too. Please forgive me? The most effective way to spread hope to someone, is to be a loving example. Stay approachable, and respect their process and timing to find their own awarenesses. Keep taking care of myself, and keep my own side of the street clean. I am not above anyone just because of the progress I have made. That kind of arrogance will kill off my own progress. This is not a competition. This journey of mine, is deeply fragile. I have seen people who have lost hundreds of pounds, myself included, gain it all back in a heartbeat. Once I become over confident or take a break, I start to spiral downward.
So my question to you today is, what is the price you are willing to pay to improve your own health?
Blessings to all of you!