I was down 2 pounds this morning, I now weight 402. I am 2 pounds away from being under 400, a number I have been over way too long. It is important that I get under that number and keep losing.
This caused me to think about the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven Covey. That book was what really energize my 200 pound loss in the mid 90s. I use to rally around all my friends problems losing myself in the middle of it all, while neglecting my own health. It was nothing unusual for me to drop what I was doing to run to someone’s aide. All while I let my own health deteriorate.
I rationalized it by telling myself I was the good friend. I would often come off a saint. I even did this with my dog. I would run to the vet if he had a cough, yet, it had been years since I had a yearly check up. My little maltese, Gabe was impeccably groomed, yet I wouldn’t take time to give myself that kind of care.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still love my friends, and would be there for them anytime. But so many times I ran to what was urgent, when what was important got neglected. In fact I may have enabled a few people instead of helping them. I believe subconsciously it was that instant gratification I got from being a loyal friend or hero that trumped taking the time to honor my health. After all, eating a salad sure does not lend the instant reward of getting pat on the back for rescuing a friend, or doing something heroic. I was conditioned at a very young age to be kind, giving, and selfless. It’s pretty common among us fat chicks. We don’t always light up a room with our looks, so we have to find a non-visual way to be attractive. Maybe not consciously, but my actions spoke volumes.
It’s a funny thing how we set the pace how people will treat us. If we do not treat ourselves with respect, the world won’t either. I am not speaking of being selfish, or doing something indulging at the cost of someone else. That is selfish, and wrong.
There is an old analogy people use to explain this. When you are in an airplane, with your child, and (God forbid) the oxygen masks would drop down in case of an emergency. they always tell you to put the mask on yourself first, then help your child with his. How in the world can I help others breath when I can’t breath myself? So, how can I, as an obese woman, be any good to anyone if I am handicapped, or dead? That is not love. In fact, it is a form of selfishness.
So what happens to a person who neglect themselves? I can tell you because it happened to me. You get very resentful, then bitter. You become thinned skinned. I was passive/aggressive. Sweet as honey one minute, then bitter and resentful the next. You have never experienced loneliness as deep as when you abandon yourself. No wonder I did not get the respect I thought I deserved, I didn’t respect myself. This goes far beyond getting a mani-pedi. Having a spa day is not what I am talking about here.
So coming back to the subject of my weight loss, and being 2 pounds away from under 400. It is very important that I stay on track. It is the kindest most loving thing I can do for myself right now. At this point, every calorie counts. I’m kind of stuck in the middle, where most people plateau. I have been experiencing some frustrating plateaus, but now is the time to push harder. I have lost a good chunk of weight, and honestly the first 20% just fell off of me. But now, my body has become fuel efficient, and I’m still too big to really work our hard. My calorie consumption is critical.
I am so grateful for my friend Diane, whom I swim with. She helps me target the areas I struggle with, and helps me figure out a plan, and then fine tune it. I am accountable to her that I see it through. I encourage all of you to seek out friends like this. I have several other friends that have been walking me through each challenge as well.
My first coaching class was last night. 3 hours! it was at home, so I could be in my jammies, sit on my bed with my books, and computer spread out around me. I think I am going to like it. My next class is tomorrow night. Tonight is the meeting I co-facilitate with Sean and Gerri. For any of you who missed Sean on the Today show yesterday morning, here is a link. Sean on the Today Show , He did so well, and was way past due for this recognition. He has not only worked hard to gain back his health, he inspires so many people along the way. I am grateful for this good friend!