One of my homework assignments for my coaching class is writing a business vision. It seemed like a lot of fussing around and busy work, because it was quite detailed. After I got into it a bit I understood the importance of the exercise. I started visualizing specific things I never gave much though to. It gave me a balance, and it pointed out how the steps I take towards my goal today, have everything to do with where I wanted to be, and how I am going to get there.
So, I started thinking and applying this to my weight loss goals. How much weight do I want to have off in 6 months? A year? 5 years? Am I going to get there at the rate I am now going? What do I need to change today to get there?
In my past weight loss days, I only focused on the current weight loss, and maybe at most what it would be like to have 50% of the weight off. I have lost, in my life time 100+ pounds 4 different times, and 200 once. I seem to be successful at the losing process once I get on track, but I seem to lose my way after I get a nice chunk of it off. I believe it may, partly, be due to the fact that after losing 100+ I find myself more comfortable and mobile than when I was at my highest weight. I got too comfortable, getting tons of compliments, and allowing myself to become sloppy and careless because I was not motivated by the pain of obesity anymore…. well, compared to where I came from. I remember losing weight from being in the mid 400s and weighing 290 pounds thinking, “I could be this weight all my life and I would be happy” Because to me, I was able to get around without much pain (compared to where I was) Being able to buy clothes at Lane Bryant, and even dating. I also had a lot of confidence. (I am convinced it was my confidence more that my weight loss that was most attractive anyway,…but thats a topic for future posts) I just did not have that urgent motivation any more. Yet, when I was in the 200s, and doing all those TV informational, those who weighed less than I were always coming up to me for my secret to success. I was put on a pedestal because of losing 200 pounds, and yet still weighed in the mid 200’s. There were people who were under 200 pounds that wanted what I had. I had a lot of trouble wrapping my head around that, and I never felt worthy of the compliments I got.
When I was in the 200’s and started gaining my weight back, I kept rationalizing it by saying “well, I’m not in the 300s or 400s so I’m still successful. I let myself slip, and rationalized all the binging I was secretly doing. Then the weight kept piling on, I remember getting to 280 and thinking, why does it feel so horrible to weight 280 now, and yet when I was losing and hit 280, I though I was on top of the world?
It is so important to have a map, a plan, goals. It’s important to visualize specifically where we want to go, or in this case weigh, and have specific mile marks along the way. Without a goal, or some direction we can easily get lost or run out of motivation. Keeping in mind this is only a measure of my physical weigh loss, and not the value of who I am. My value never increases when I lose weight, no matter how much. I was a valued human being even when I weighed in the 500s. Weight loss, is only a health issue. But we honor who we are by eating healthy and taking care of our bodies.
I use to set out to lose weight, not really having a specific number in mind. I even said on occasion “oh, I’ll know when I get there”. But that is not true. Losing weight, especially a lot of weight, can not lean on how we are feeling to measure our success. That is proven a lot of ways, that’s why someone from LA wears a heavy coat on a 50 degree weather and someone from Nebraska is wearing shorts.
So today I wrote down how much I want to weight in 6 months, a year, and even 5 years. Because I want to keep this weight off this time for the rest of my life. And without a roadmap, chances are, I won’t make it.