I was down another pound this morning. 143 pounds lost now, since April of 2015. It hardly seems possible. I am so grateful for the grace of God!
One of the biggest obstacles I am currently experiencing is walking through the threshold of my new life. Now I’m not wanting to make a big deal out of this, but I have to address it. I have basically been in my home primarily in my bed the last several years. It’s a bit of a blur, because there was no exact moment this all started in my life. It started by not going into stores when I was married and just staying in the car. Then slid into sitting in a chair in front of the stove to cook my meals, then spending the whole day in bed, then the whole weekend…..
There is some basic living that I have not experienced for a long time. I am gradually getting back to living, but I have to admit, I am a little fearful sometimes. I’m not sure I can explain it correctly, and there is so much shame in exposing this to the world. But the sooner I shed light on it, and quit letting shame keep me captive, the sooner I can get back to living.
The normal mundane things you do every day are challenges for me and create fears you may never even think of. I needed to write about this a bit so I can work through it. It is so safe and secure staying inside my home. I do not have to worry about how far I have to walk, or if I can fit in the chairs, or worry how the world seems me. But am feeling so much better, and because of that, the loneliness has gotten almost unbearable. It feels like the world is going on around me and I am frozen in time, except I am getting older.
So it’s time to walk through the threshold of life. No matter how fearful I am. And even tho I feel a little pain, its no where near the pain 143 pounds ago made me feel. So this week I am going to visit my friends at the local Community Collage and check out finishing up my associates degree. I only have one hour to meet the requirements to graduate. Also, in a couple of weeks I will be a certified Life Coach. Things are about to really change in my life.
My prayer is that someday, someone who was in situation like mine, will see hope. We are all capable of doing so much more than we think we can. We just get in our own ways sometimes.
Take care everyone, and reach for the sky!